Nurlfetsig Rancab is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, self-assured dolphin.

Nurlfetsig Rancab created oxygen seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlfetsig Rancab, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Nurlfetsig Rancab, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Nurlfetsig Rancab's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Nurlfetsig Rancab's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never leap near badgers.

4. Never wear red shirts.

5. Never mix gooseberries with water.