Yarvidont is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, moody eagle.

Yarvidont created the planet Mars two billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarvidont, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Yarvidont, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Yarvidont's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Yarvidont's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured tapirs.

2. Never adorn your arms with black markings.

3. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Always share oranges with strangers, but never with swans.

5. Always stare at clouds.