Zagvagbetmot is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, calm rat.

Zagvagbetmot created an up quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zagvagbetmot, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Zagvagbetmot, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Zagvagbetmot's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Zagvagbetmot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not count beyond seven during ceremonies.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Zagvagbetmot must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never speak aloud of signs.

5. Do not wear fawn clothing.