Cutxemtailvonk is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, vain pigeon.

Cutxemtailvonk created an electron eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cutxemtailvonk, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cutxemtailvonk, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Cutxemtailvonk's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Cutxemtailvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Heed all portents.

2. Do not contemplate solid mechanics during the night.

3. Never sing near aardvarks.

4. Do not utter prayers while touching gold.

5. Do not prepare cucumbers while wearing jumpers.