Fedquamnig is a god.

She takes the form of a large, clever newt.

Fedquamnig created tapeworms two years ago.

If you believe in Fedquamnig, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fedquamnig, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Fedquamnig's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Fedquamnig's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Fedquamnig's priests.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Never run in the presence of sheep.

4. Never fashion tools from clay.

5. Never talk about optics.