Pibxucvog is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, tiresome eagle.

Pibxucvog created matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pibxucvog, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pibxucvog, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Pibxucvog's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Pibxucvog's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of fate in the presence of elders.

2. Never talk about quantum mechanics near tortoises while wearing magenta corsets.

3. Feed all hungry monkeys.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never speak the names of stars aloud.