Homnurtlap is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, pitiless dryad.

Homnurtlap created the Virgo Supercluster three billion years ago.

If you believe in Homnurtlap, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Homnurtlap, it will not care.

Homnurtlap's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Homnurtlap's Holy Commandments

1. Always store bread above ground.

2. Do not jump at mountains.

3. Erect nine lead sculptures of Homnurtlap on top of important buildings.

4. Do not speak of quantum field theory near sacred fires.

5. Do not place pineapples upon stone.