Rutbesslarnnurappappwapbog is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, idiotic mongoose.

Rutbesslarnnurappappwapbog created vertebrates eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rutbesslarnnurappappwapbog, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Rutbesslarnnurappappwapbog, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Rutbesslarnnurappappwapbog's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Rutbesslarnnurappappwapbog's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch blood while unclean.

2. Never wear red hats.

3. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Rutbesslarnnurappappwapbog on top of all buildings.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.