Yogyamlap is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, omnipotent narwhal.

Yogyamlap created the Small Magellanic Cloud two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yogyamlap, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Yogyamlap, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Yogyamlap's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Yogyamlap's Holy Commandments

1. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.

2. Never talk about bacteria.

3. Never laugh near great tits.

4. Never handle tin while unclean.

5. Never run in the presence of elders.