Tailbastcap is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, unthinking butterfly.

Tailbastcap created humankind five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tailbastcap, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tailbastcap, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Tailbastcap's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Tailbastcap's Holy Commandments

1. Pray only in darkness.

2. Retreat if four mites approach from the north.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tailbastcap.

4. Never talk about ultrasonics.

5. Do not keep nine foxes in a large pit.