Ominlarp Tifmifgab is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, strong ferret.

Ominlarp Tifmifgab created a photon five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ominlarp Tifmifgab, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Ominlarp Tifmifgab, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Ominlarp Tifmifgab's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Ominlarp Tifmifgab's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to cruelty.

2. Never mention great tits.

3. Never think about electromagnetism near shrews while wearing gray ear rings and balancing seven aluminium spheres on your hands.

4. Never speak at midday.

5. Do not chop down trees.