Quatflagnutt is a god.

She takes the form of a large, impressive scorpion.

Quatflagnutt created an up quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quatflagnutt, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Quatflagnutt, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Quatflagnutt's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Quatflagnutt's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear indigo tights.

2. Remain bowed during prayer.

3. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching silicon.

5. Never discuss enzymes in public assemblies.