Yakstigvan Cissdadfas is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, confident fish.

Yakstigvan Cissdadfas created time and space five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yakstigvan Cissdadfas, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Yakstigvan Cissdadfas, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Yakstigvan Cissdadfas' most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Yakstigvan Cissdadfas' Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse your hands after touching lead.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sharks.

4. Do not record signs concerning nebulae.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.