Rapjarncut is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, slow guinea pig.

Rapjarncut created everything that exists eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rapjarncut, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Rapjarncut, it will jump up and down on your head.

Rapjarncut's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Rapjarncut's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Do not wear green clothing.

3. Always look after injured horses.

4. Do not hurt goats.

5. Fast once a month.