Monbanjadont is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, compassionate squirrel.

Monbanjadont created carbon five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Monbanjadont, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Monbanjadont, he will destroy your home planet.

Monbanjadont's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Monbanjadont's Holy Commandments

1. Always store spinach above ground.

2. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

3. Never talk about electromagnetism near horses while wearing pink kilts.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never remain prostrate at dusk.