Linappbit is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, all-powerful eagle.

Linappbit created a charm quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Linappbit, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Linappbit, she will turn you into a frog.

Linappbit's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Linappbit's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of peanuts to foxes while wearing blue shorts.

2. Do not name children after voles.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. You must pray to Linappbit eight times a day.

5. Never pour water over plants.