Bimlapdav is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, all-powerful scorpion.

Bimlapdav created the planet Saturn nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bimlapdav, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bimlapdav, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Bimlapdav's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Bimlapdav's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in summer.

2. Never record signs.

3. Always make sure there are no swans in a building before entering it.

4. Never talk about galaxies.

5. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.