Gamquillnat Lopgudmad is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, fussy donkey.

Gamquillnat Lopgudmad created the Sombrero Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gamquillnat Lopgudmad, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gamquillnat Lopgudmad, she will send minions to preach to you.

Gamquillnat Lopgudmad's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Gamquillnat Lopgudmad's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate foxes.

3. Do not speak of optics near sacred fires.

4. Always wash your legs before prayer.

5. Do not skip at mountains.