Fetpibqueeg is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, capable donkey.

Fetpibqueeg created dark energy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fetpibqueeg, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Fetpibqueeg, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Fetpibqueeg's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Fetpibqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint in holy places.

2. Never jump near dogs.

3. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Always pray immersed in water.