Yarlkip is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, humorless guinea pig.

Yarlkip created life two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarlkip, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Yarlkip, it will turn you into a frog.

Yarlkip's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Yarlkip's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about asteroids.

2. Never write about quantum gravity.

3. Always check lakes for frogs.

4. Always remove tights before touching copper.

5. Always cleanse your hands after touching gold.