Jadpigcar is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, merciful dryad.

Jadpigcar created Mount Everest seven million years ago.

If you believe in Jadpigcar, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Jadpigcar, he will turn you into a puffin.

Jadpigcar's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Jadpigcar's Holy Commandments

1. Never remain standing at midnight.

2. Worship no other gods but Jadpigcar.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Jadpigcar loves otters, so they must be honoured.