Koptan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, impressive eagle.

Koptan created the planet Saturn six million years ago.

If you believe in Koptan, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Koptan, he will send you a sign.

Koptan's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Koptan's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never speak the names of black holes aloud.

3. Do not consume limes at dawn.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Put Koptan first in all things.