Bisswitfab is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, omnipotent hamster.

Bisswitfab created an up quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bisswitfab, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Bisswitfab, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bisswitfab's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Bisswitfab's Holy Commandments

1. Bisswitfab loves birds, so they must be respected.

2. Do not eat gooseberries.

3. Never think about quantum mechanics near otters while wearing green boots and balancing nine platinum spheres on your face.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not hurt mites.