Lamrulltargflab is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, egotistical faun.

Lamrulltargflab created Mount Everest two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamrulltargflab, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Lamrulltargflab, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Lamrulltargflab's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Lamrulltargflab's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Always make sure there are no pigs in a building before entering it.

3. Never skip in the presence of seals.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never pray while filled with fear.