Bepmatpig is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, overgenerous tortoise.

Bepmatpig created matter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bepmatpig, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bepmatpig, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Bepmatpig's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Bepmatpig's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine moths approach from the south.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Heed all visions.

4. Do not hurt geese.

5. Never fashion tools from bone.