Hanlatbeg is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, charitable parrot.

Hanlatbeg created the Cigar Galaxy four years ago.

If you believe in Hanlatbeg, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Hanlatbeg, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Hanlatbeg's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Hanlatbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

2. Erect nine copper sculptures of Hanlatbeg on top of important buildings.

3. You must never eat parsnips.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never sit near tortoises.