Gubbanbenfum is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, merciless wasp.

Gubbanbenfum created Europe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gubbanbenfum, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gubbanbenfum, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Gubbanbenfum's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Gubbanbenfum's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into orange rooms.

2. Always obey Gubbanbenfum's priests.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not consume lemons at dawn.

5. Do not record secrets concerning black holes.