Wodvenveencisshugniggunhit Yarlflagtarp is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, happy seal.

Wodvenveencisshugniggunhit Yarlflagtarp created oxygen eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wodvenveencisshugniggunhit Yarlflagtarp, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Wodvenveencisshugniggunhit Yarlflagtarp, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Wodvenveencisshugniggunhit Yarlflagtarp's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Wodvenveencisshugniggunhit Yarlflagtarp's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five lead sculptures of Wodvenveencisshugniggunhit Yarlflagtarp on top of important buildings.

2. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Shun those given to vanity.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never eat lentils.