Bastfarnzan is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, amazing seal.

Bastfarnzan created the Whirlpool Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bastfarnzan, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bastfarnzan, it will turn you into a dog.

Bastfarnzan's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Bastfarnzan's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

3. Never feed melons to birds while wearing rings.

4. Heed all dreams.

5. Do not kill tortoises.