Wattarfod is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, uncaring seal.

Wattarfod created viruses eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Wattarfod, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Wattarfod, he will be mildly annoyed.

Wattarfod's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Wattarfod's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about black holes.

2. Never talk about moons.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Wattarfod.

4. Never remain bowed during dusk.

5. Never speak the names of comets aloud.