Negwodkik is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, contented zebra.

Negwodkik created the cosmos eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Negwodkik, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Negwodkik, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Negwodkik's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Negwodkik's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity.

2. Negwodkik must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always help sick whales.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Always act with obedience when addressing strangers.