Tigyiknutjopyokbutveen is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, merciful hamster.

Tigyiknutjopyokbutveen created the world three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tigyiknutjopyokbutveen, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tigyiknutjopyokbutveen, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Tigyiknutjopyokbutveen's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Tigyiknutjopyokbutveen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Tigyiknutjopyokbutveen's name in vain.

2. Do not record secrets concerning dwarf planets.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always remove dresses before touching nickel.

5. Do not wear kilts marked with black.