Hotfemhot is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, unthoughtful duck.

Hotfemhot created the Whirlpool Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Hotfemhot, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Hotfemhot, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Hotfemhot's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Hotfemhot's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse your hands after touching titanium.

2. Never talk about enzymes.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never chant in holy places.

5. Never wear white shorts on sacred days.