Cumtaglennar is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, proud slug.

Cumtaglennar created silver three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cumtaglennar, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cumtaglennar, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Cumtaglennar's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Cumtaglennar's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate turtles.

2. Always wear brown.

3. Do not kill dogs.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Never talk about fire.