Largzimdag is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, clever slug.

Largzimdag created tapeworms four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Largzimdag, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Largzimdag, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Largzimdag's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Largzimdag's Holy Commandments

1. Always share melons with strangers, but never with grasshopers.

2. Never think about spacetime near nematodes while wearing orange tights and balancing four copper spheres on your hands.

3. Never talk about rats.

4. Never remain prostrate during dusk.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate voles.