Kadveenquart is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, humorless pigeon.

Kadveenquart created vertebrates seven million years ago.

If you believe in Kadveenquart, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Kadveenquart, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Kadveenquart's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Kadveenquart's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics.

2. Run away from fawn great tits, for they are unholy.

3. Never remain bowed during midnight.

4. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.