Witzenbiss is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, selfish duck.

Witzenbiss created water nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Witzenbiss, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Witzenbiss, she will turn you into a puffin.

Witzenbiss' most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Witzenbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Never touch ash while tainted.

2. Never hurt nematodes.

3. Always help sick badgers.

4. Feed all hungry foxes.

5. Never eat green fruit.