Vadtamyarp is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, selfish weasel.

Vadtamyarp created a quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vadtamyarp, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Vadtamyarp, she will turn you into a tree.

Vadtamyarp's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Vadtamyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch water while tainted.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never wear brown stockings.

4. Tapirs are not to be trusted.

5. You must pray to Vadtamyarp three times a day.