Xemquagfon is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, blissful bear.

Xemquagfon created a charm quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xemquagfon, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Xemquagfon, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Xemquagfon's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Xemquagfon's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no pigs in a building before entering it.

2. Erect a large lead sculpture of Xemquagfon on top of all buildings.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate ducks.

5. Never touch blood while clean.