Ontbambod is a god.

It takes the form of a large, effective spider.

Ontbambod created carbon three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ontbambod, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Ontbambod, it will turn you into a snail.

Ontbambod's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Ontbambod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Do not fashion tools from silicon.

3. Always look after injured porpoises.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Ontbambod.