Vanteenpodcit is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, happy dragon.

Vanteenpodcit created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Vanteenpodcit, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vanteenpodcit, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Vanteenpodcit's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Vanteenpodcit's Holy Commandments

1. Put Vanteenpodcit first in all things.

2. Never write about eukaryotes.

3. Never eat melons on fasting days.

4. Run away if three turtles approach from the west.

5. Always obey Vanteenpodcit's priests.