Fethanfed is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, selfish finch.

Fethanfed created everything that exists six billion years ago.

If you believe in Fethanfed, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fethanfed, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Fethanfed's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Fethanfed's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from orange ants, for they are unholy.

2. Always help sick sheep.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in black.