Gubtitven is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, overgenerous manatee.

Gubtitven created time and space eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gubtitven, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Gubtitven, she will strike you with lightening.

Gubtitven's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Gubtitven's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your legs blue.

2. Always store onions above ground.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never feed limes to bats while wearing indigo kilts.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gubtitven.