Tarphigsterbus is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, deceitful shark.

Tarphigsterbus created vertebrates nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarphigsterbus, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tarphigsterbus, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Tarphigsterbus' most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Tarphigsterbus' Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the south during spring.

2. Never record secrets.

3. Do not resist chaos.

4. Never eat bananas.

5. Never paint your neck brown.