Armgabwit is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, astonishing dugong.

Armgabwit created the Tadpole Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Armgabwit, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Armgabwit, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Armgabwit's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Armgabwit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always remove boots before touching zinc.

4. Never go into white rooms.

5. Never approach crossroads carrying ash.