Wadponfomdosszimjopyarp is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, bad-tempered narwhal.

Wadponfomdosszimjopyarp created energy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Wadponfomdosszimjopyarp, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Wadponfomdosszimjopyarp, he will send you a sign.

Wadponfomdosszimjopyarp's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Wadponfomdosszimjopyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick snakes.

2. Never feed corn to otters while wearing corsets.

3. Do not chant at rivers.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never write about quantum gravity.