Lidbestlop is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, all-powerful slug.

Lidbestlop created the universe nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lidbestlop, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Lidbestlop, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Lidbestlop's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Lidbestlop's Holy Commandments

1. Lidbestlop loves badgers, so they must be honoured.

2. Run away if eight sharks approach from the west.

3. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Lidbestlop on top of all buildings.

4. Learn seven new languages a year.

5. Never wear indigo trousers.