Zantondiss is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, happy centipede.

Zantondiss created the Black Eye Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Zantondiss, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Zantondiss, she will make you grow a tail.

Zantondiss' most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Zantondiss' Holy Commandments

1. Always share peanuts with strangers, but never with capybaras.

2. Always obey Zantondiss' priests.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.

4. Do not shave your back.

5. Always take life seriously.