Mutcidstan is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, overgenerous raven.

Mutcidstan created vertebrates four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mutcidstan, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Mutcidstan, he will turn you into a puffin.

Mutcidstan's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Mutcidstan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about solid mechanics near pigs while wearing turquoise shorts and balancing four gold spheres on your legs.

2. You must pray to Mutcidstan seven times a day.

3. Never talk about planets.

4. Do not dye your hair green.

5. Never think ill of sick dogs.