Zagbigwan is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, egotistical toad.

Zagbigwan created humanity six billion years ago.

If you believe in Zagbigwan, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Zagbigwan, she will turn you into a tree.

Zagbigwan's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Zagbigwan's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Zagbigwan.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never hurt cats.